


A Darkin and a Yordle walk into a Bar...

by nonspecifics



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Darkin form Rhaast, F/M, Kayn and Rhaast basically being roomates, Teratophilia, crack ship, size-difference, yordle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 13:36:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16347701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonspecifics/pseuds/nonspecifics
Summary: Rhaast awakens after a peculiar night and has no common decency or self-control





	A Darkin and a Yordle walk into a Bar...

**Author's Note:**

> I have a new crack ship! Another rarepair where no content exists for it for a good reason, but the twist here is, it's not Jhin this time. Try not to think about the fact that Lulu should be getting ripped in half here.

Rhaast was… confused honestly. How did he get into this situation exactly? Here he was laying on a bed, bare to the world minus a bedsheet. That wouldn’t be too abnormal, the real problem, was that there was something resting with him. It wasn’t Kayn, nor some tavern wench, but a small figure, curled up on his broad chest. She didn’t have any particularly redeeming assets, flat chest, no ass, messy hair, clingy.  
Don’t worry, Rhaast didn’t fuck a child! However in Rhaast’s mind, it was perhaps even worse. _A yordle_ , purple, soft, comically small, _and he just had the night of his life with it_. 

Lulu was pleasantly warm and comfy resting on the chest of someone she couldn’t help but smile when she glanced up them. As the morning sun peeked in through the curtains she found herself blinking open her eyes and doing just that, looking up at the perturbed and confused expression of her crush, Rhaast. 

“Good morning~” she cooed, smiling up at him, tracing her finger over his chest. 

“Hm? Ah… yes…” Rhaast responded weakly, to say he was unfocussed was would be a laugh, he was practically astral projecting right now. But alas, it seemed things could only get worse from here. 

There was no footsteps coming down the hall or creak of the door opening, but much to Rhaast’s abject horror, the head or Kayn phased through the wall just inches above his face. He opened his mouth as if to speak, to greet him, tease him, ask him where he put the snacks, but was cut short as he noticed the big, glimmering green eyes that peered up at him. 

“Hi!” she greeted, waving up to him. 

Well, this is wonderful, both sides of the assassin Kayn were disassociating and it was only 8 o’clock. It was a few seconds of silence before anyone spoke. 

“ _So_... how did you two meet?” Kayn asked, as if he wasn’t staring at the minimally covered couple. 

“Well, Bandle City had managed to be floating around Ionia the other day, and I came down to get some supplies, and I saw Rhaast here, but he was a scythe, and I started chatting with him outside of the market,and he kept yelling at me to go away, and the shop-keeper told me I wasn’t welcome, but then Rhaast yelled at him for interrupting him when he was yelling at me first! Then I thanked him and went to head back to Bandle City, but the island had already teleported away, so I camped out in the woods nearby for a while, and then the next day, I woke up and bumped into him again, this time leaving the shop and this time in his human form, and he was covered in jelly and carrying out a bunch of fruits and snacks and-” 

“ **FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP** -... s-sorry Lu” he sighed, why did he correct himself, what was wrong with him?  
“...’Lu’?” Kayn snickered 

Rhaast glared up at him and said through gritted teeth “ **Isn’t it about time you leave the room**?” 

Well, Kayn certainly didn’t intend on dying just to giggle at Rhaast, so he made his exit, adding in “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone” before quickly slipping out of the wall and away from Rhaast’s oncoming clawed grasp. 

“... So, what do you want to do now?” the yordle asked, still tracing her finger over his skin, and what Rhaast swore was a glint of a mischievous grin. 

Wait, where was his mind going? Again? Reaching for implications just to have another go at this creature; Gods what was wrong with him? 

… but then again, if Kayn already knew, and was presumably going to be a nosey little brat, it might be fun to get a little bit of revenge, make him regret bargin in and teasing him. 

“... I have a thought in mind dear… “ he trails off, one of his hands triling down and grabbing her ass, nearly cupping her entire lower half with his large hands “if you would be interested, that is?” he asks playfully, guaging her expression for an answer. 

There was a moment of silence and stillness, and Rhaast was beginning to think he had overstepped, and resign himself to eating waffles with her and Kayn in a painful awkward silence, but just as he had begun to shift underneath her, a look of mischief overtook her face that surprised even herself. BNefore Rhaast knew it he was right back to square one of the previous night, Lulu’s soft lips pressed against his nonexistent ones, his long, slimey tongue exploring her mouth, and her tiny hands roaming anywhere and everywhere she could reach. Now it was starting to come back to him why last night happened the way it did. 

His hands eventually found rest at her hips, and since prepping her with his clawed fingers would be more trouble than it was worth, he merely sat he up on his lap and looked up at her, waiting for her confirmation. 

Lulu, who was straddling the Darkin’s beyond sizable cock, nodded at him. She may be a naive yordle, but she isn’t an idiot, and certainly not innocent. Looking over him in this form made her quiver with excitement; perhaps her tastes were rather strange, but to her, Rhaast was her dream man. Carefully, she got atop his length and lowered herself onto it, trying to hold back her groans as it pushed into her. The heat of his cock was almost ethereal, it wasn’t like normal fleshy heat, but almost like a radiator that just emanate warmth, and she loved it. 

Rhaast grunted as he felt the yordle engulf his length, and as he heard her stifled noises, he cupped her face and whispered “Be loud, I want to hear you scream for me” finishing with a playful snarl. 

Shortly after Lulu began moving did she happily oblige, moaning loudly, _loud enough for Kayn to hear hopefully_ , and Rhaast followed suit, groaning and huffing as his cock was ripped and rubbed fantastically by the purple yordle. 

Thrusts became more sporadic, nearly bouncing Lulu right off his lap. Lulu struggled to keep up, but still enjoyed herself, moaning out his name and lewdly smiling down at him. Rhaast was losing himself to the pleasure, but still attempting to restrain himself from calling out her name; he was willing to make a show of fucking her for Kayn, and probably the neighbors at this point, but he wasn’t quite yet prepared to lose his pride in that way. His grip on her hips tightened, his claws almost breaking through her soft flesh, and the bed creaked in protest again and again. However, even though Rhaast’s fightinting and stubbornness, as their orgasms neared and Lulu’s passed, tightening around his cock like a vice, he found himself nearly screaming out her name as her body milked every last drop out of him. 

A few seconds passed before either one of them could even think of speaking, both completely collapsed. It wasn’t until Lulu spoke to break the silence once more did Rhaast snap out of his post-nut trance. 

“That was fun Rhaasty~” 

He groaned at the dumb nickname, loathing the way it made his heart warm. Looking down at her tired expression, no energy left in him to be stubborn, he threw away the last shred of his pride and pulled her closer for a kiss, this one small and gentle, and for just one brief moment, both of them were content. However all good things must come to an end, and as Rhaast’s alpha-male pride kicked back in he immediately sat upright and rolled her off of her, getting out of bed and getting dressed. 

“You shouldn’t stay in bed too long… I believe Kayn made breakfast judging by the smell… and I think burning it to boot so we best hurry.” in fact, it was perhaps the only smell that could permeate the musky stench of their fuck session. 

Lulu nodded and got out of bed and got dressed, following him to the table, holding his hand, much to the disdain of Rhaast’s Darkin sensibilities. However any thoughts like that were thrown out of the window as he saw Kayn. He was sitting at the table, stunned silent, peering at the wall with his hands folded together. The waffle’s on the stove-top turned black by the second, but that was far from Kayn’s mind currently. Oh, his reaction was _priceless_! This was exactly what he wanted to see. 

“Good morning Kayn~” he said gleefully, Lulu following suit with a similar greeting, minus the passive aggressive venom Rhaast’s had. Perhaps this wasn’t all bad, perhaps she wasn’t much to be ashamed of, and if it meant he could instill this level of shock and terror in Kayn every time he let her ride his Darkin dick, then by all means things were looking up for this relationship. 


End file.
